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Finding Peace in Chaos - Define Success

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"Honey, have you talked to the insurance guy yet?"

I snapped that I hadn't reached out. How could I have? I was way too busy to even think about that!

To be fair, more than a week had passed since I said I would call. I wasn’t annoyed with my wife for asking. I was frustrated with myself for dropping the ball… again!

The cycle of being too busy to get anything done is brutal. Feeling behind leads to feeling stressed. Stress makes it harder to deal with difficult or unpleasant responsibilities. Not dealing with these things inevitably ends with them becoming urgent, which makes us feel more behind and more stressed.

This is the first installment of a series of articles about finding peace amid everyday chaos. Breaking this cycle is a work in progress for me. I have good days and bad days, but want to share what’s been helpful so far.

For a long time, I tried to find peace by changing my situation, trying to free up my schedule, and setting high expectations for the next vacation. These never helped.

A few years ago, I was complaining in prayer about a long weekend that had just ended. The vacation hadn’t been relaxing because I had spent most of it dreading my return to work. God gently asked me to ponder what it would take for me to feel peace. If several quiet days away from the stresses of life didn’t do it, what would?

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Every project manager knows they must define success before starting work. Otherwise, they’re likely to spend a lot of time and effort doing things that don’t accomplish anything. Yet, there I was wasting time and effort chasing a fantasy. I assumed that a peaceful heart came from peaceful circumstances only to be disillusioned when my anxious heart couldn’t relax in a stress-free environment.

So, what did success look like? If I was chasing a fake, what was the real thing?

Finding that answer was easy. The Church points us to the lives of the saints when we want an example of success. The details vary, but each saint I looked at proved that interior peace was possible in chaos or boredom, success or failure, and celebration or suffering.

Not a single one found ideal circumstances first and became a saint second. Neither could I. Neither will you.

I left my prayer chair that morning able to visualize myself responding to life’s circumstances with faith, hope, and love. My situation didn’t have to change for me to have peace. I had to change.

My natural disposition, deeply rooted habits, and conditioning to anxiously respond to my situation did not magically go away. But, at least I understood success well enough to prayerfully pursue it and tell when I was succeeding or failing.

The first step of reclaiming your day–or breaking any vicious cycle or bad habit–is getting a realistic vision of success. This vision should focus on changes you can make instead of changes to circumstances or the behavior of others. Imagine the worst things you have to deal with still happening. What would a saint do in that situation? That’s your new definition of success!

Want to see what defining success has looked like for me? Check out this article to dive deeper into getting a good start on finding peace.

Once we have a realistic vision for success, we’re ready for the next step: seeking conversion! Continue reading the Finding Peace in Chaos series there.
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